A few weeks ago my daughter’s soccer coach asked the team if they’d want to scrimmage against a harder team. They had been winning most of their games by a landslide and this was meant to challenge them and see where they might grow. The parents were all in and the girls went with it.

As I watched them play, I couldn’t contain my excitement and I had no idea why. As a parent viewing another scrimmage on a weeknight when we could have been home relaxing; I noticed there was a different energy in this game.

The girls knew the game would be difficult and a loss likely, yet, they showed up and did their thing to the best of their ability. We supported them and cheered them on and it was amazing to witness. Of course, in a low stakes and organized kids soccer match it’s easier to enjoy this process.

Avoiding Challenge + Meaning Making
As an adult and a highly sensitive person, I got comfortable avoiding challenges. Oftentimes giving up when I saw that it included some pain and disappointment. Holding on years after with the memory of a loss made it hard to move forward.

The joy of the challenge gets lost when EVERYTHING in life begins to feel like too much and stepping away to take breaks or avoiding challenges takes over.

Though, watching that game, I realized something about myself that I not only forgot but began to fear — I LOVE A CHALLENGE.

It was never about competition or winning, but about growing in a way that you don’t actually need. Rather, it’s about wanting it. Why?… Because there is part of you that wants to expand, wants to grow and learn, wants to feel alive and feels satiated by the experience.
No one wants to feel like they are drowning in their challenges, yet with a negative mindset, unprocessed pain, and misunderstanding why it’s happening, it feels that way.

Remembering that it’s not about the outcome of a challenge, but the process, what we gained, how we surprised ourselves, and what we took from it is the ultimate lesson.

Gaining From the Hard Stuff
For me, learning and challenges have often been tied to emotional maturity. As a sensitive person, I feel a lot and have let those emotions dictate much of my precious life. Learning to live my best life has been about setting boundaries with myself and processing emotions rather than being controlled by them.

I have and continue to challenge myself by seeing things from a different perspective, facing fears of vulnerability, showing up as my true self, having honest conversations (that I’d prefer not to have), and reflecting on what it means to me to have a successful creative life.

Watching that game and feeling the excitement was like a huge green flag to keep actively choosing challenges (meaning facing unknowns). Creatively, physically, emotionally, and showing up because I WANT it and love it for myself.

For me this looks like improving my writing skills, consistently journaling, taking exercise classes, and viewing challenges that I didn’t “directly” choose as a gift rather than a curse.

I continue to grow and that leaves me feeling satisfied. The satisfaction isn’t because I “win” or because my vision of life is perfect, but because I feel that I am becoming more of my true self.
Like the girls at the soccer match, they didn’t win and perhaps that hurt, but I saw something more important, they are capable of more, had fun trying, and know that loss and disappointment don’t define them – this is what matters.

With love and light,
Orly