Don’t Mind or Don’t Care?

“This is my secret. I don’t mind what happens”. Eckhart Tolle 

This morning as I was walking, I heard a conversation between two neighbors. One said, “it’ll work out” and then followed by saying, “or it won’t” – then they both laughed. I walked past them and smiled. 

We all want things to work out a certain way. We plan it out and have a vision board. We want life to happen in a certain way. We think we know the way, the right way for us and for the world. 

Then when things don’t work out that way, we are disappointed and hurt. We allow the fact that it didn’t work out to mean something. Usually, we become the victim of our circumstances. 

Similarly, once in conversation with my previous coach, I went on a tangent about something that was bothering me. Then I finished with “I don’t really care anyways.” She laughed and said, “whenever someone says they don’t care, that is a sure sign that they do care.”

Whenever I say “I don’t care”, there is usually more to that story. Saying “I don’t care” often, is a passive way of saying, “I really care and I am having a hard time letting this go.” 

“I don’t care” is usually attached to an emotion or trigger. The emotion is tied up to a story of what happened and what you made that mean about yourself, others and life. 

In contrast, using Eckhart Tolle’s quote above, “I don’t mind” feels lighter – it is an open space that allows room and acceptance of all the options. As in, “where do you want to eat?” – I don’t mind.

I don’t mind means – either way, it will be ok. Either way, I will be ok. If there are challenges, I will meet them. If there is love, I will enjoy it. If it is hard, it’ll pass. If it is easy – that’s fine too. 

Can you imagine having this energy in your life? Can you imagine removing the weight of caring what happens and instead “not minding” what happens?

 As I sit with this, the words that come to me are energized and light. It frees up space for me. All the energy I used up caring about what happens is now available to me. I get to choose what to do with that energy. 

Personally, I choose to use that energy to do and be what I love! Writing, reading, creating, spending time with my kids, traveling, eating well, and supporting others to live their best life as well! 

Questions to Consider:

  • What do you say you don’t care about but actually do?
  • What would life look like and feel like if you didn’t mind?
  • Where are you placing too much energy on “what happens – as in things working out or not”?

With love and light,
Orly