Holding On Too Tightly
- May 01, 2024
- By Samantha Nevarez
- In Orly Levy Life Coach Support
“Let go or be dragged”– Zen Proverb
When I was in my early twenties and going through a difficult break up, I went to see an acupuncturist. She told me, I had to let go if I wanted to be free and happy again. I had gone to her for physical healing, yet our conversation turned inwards. I told her, I didn’t know how to let go of all the things that happened and my anger.
She placed a small bottle in my hands and said ok, now let go. I did, it fell on the floor. Then she asked me, “how did you let go? I just opened my hand and she said, “that’s how you let go!” I told her I didn’t understand, and she smiled.
At some point, we must be willing to let go of our attachments, our ideals, our visions and embrace or accept what is right in front of us. The ego says, if things turn out the way “I” want or if “I am right” than I am safe. In search of safety, our hopes and dreams can begin to choke us because we are gripping on too tight. This keeps us trapped because when it doesn’t happen the way we wanted, we feel like the victim. When we are the victim, we aren’t empowered to accept or make changes.
This is true to our past and our future. We don’t get there by gripping, forcing, or pushing. We get there by letting go, by trusting, by accepting, by taking the steps THAT ARE AVAILABLE to take even if it scares us.
Letting go means changing our ways and stepping into the unknown. It may feel like giving up or giving in, but it is the opposite – it takes courage to say, this is no longer working and I am suffering by trying so hard to make it fit. The suffering is “the getting dragged” part. And the getting dragged part leads us to eventually change our ways.
Many of us hate change, change is uncomfortable, unknown and makes us feel vulnerable. It’s more comfortable having things stay the same – until we get dragged that is. This is when I know (usually for a long period of time) that something isn’t right and yet I stick to my ways because that’s how I have always done it before, or I don’t know what else to do.
Examples include both internal and external changes. From moving homes to ending/beginning relationships, jobs, habits to realizing that things are no longer working for you or no longer feel true in a way you can’t explain. Whether its an external or internal shift, it’s here and you can do it. The longer we hold on, the more we get dragged through the mud and likely other injuries will ensue.
- What/where are you holding on too tightly? In other words, what are trying to control?
- Are you willing to open your hand and let it fall away?
- What would acceptance of your current situation, feelings or challenge look like?
Shift your focus to the underlying feeling you want – Is it love, freedom, safety – these are not dependent on attachments or situations. They are within you and able to access when we lean towards acceptance and let go.
Check out a few of my most recent publications:
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/
https://www.purposefairy.com/
https://www.purposefairy.com/
UNLIMITED Love + Light,
Orly